2025 05 08
Slappy Curb. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2025. © Clayton Hauck
When I signed a five-year least to put my studio inside the Kimball Arts Center, I thought I’d be shooting photos of skateboarders all the time. I thought we’d be wrapping commercial shoots upsatirs, then heading down to the brewery also located inside the building for wrap drinks with the client. Wining & dining. I had it all planned out and it was going to be great!
Three and a half years later: the bar is closed (lack of customers), I’ve only photographed Slappy Curb a few times, in passing, and the only shoots even happening up here aren’t mine (lack of clients). Life doesn’t always play out as you’d imagined, but the imagining I did, which led me down this path, isn’t something I regret doing.
I’ve always felt a bit uncomfortable having money. I think I get it from my dad, but the fact that I was able to buy a house at age thirty and pay more for a car than I ever imagined possible has always left me feeling a bit uneasy. There was a day recently, amidst my commercial photography career slump — no money coming in but steady bills to be paid — walking back from the hot dog stand down the street with a sack of cheap food and less weight on my shoulders. I felt free. “Less money, less problems,” I thought. This is, perhaps, self-soothing spin, but it was a distinct feeling of belonging that made everything alright. I no longer felt out of place in my neighborhood, a relentless aura of shame hanging over my head that I somehow had more digits in my bank account than rightly belonged to me.
One thing I’ve gained since that lease signing is a firm appreciation for earning a buck. This is not to say I wasn’t a hard worker previously, but I think I was riding on Easy St. a bit too long while the gettin’ was good.
You may think I sound like a crazy person, but I’m still dreaming of growing and expanding this space. Like a simple Iowa farmer building a baseball field amongst the corn. (Another lesson I’ve learned: building it does not guarantee they will come.) Why I have these urges as I sit in an empty room, struggling to cover the rent, I do not know. But it’s how my brain works. Try for something. Go for it. Dream big. Make it happen. Once your back is up against the wall, you’ll figure out the right response. But what’s the fun in not trying?
-Clayton
